If grief is bringing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please reach out before the practice.
US: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 24/7) · Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 · UK: 116 123 Samaritans · AU: 13 11 14 Lifeline · International: findahelpline.com. The practice below is a complement to clinical grief care, not a substitute.
Quick Answer
Trauma-Sensitive Body Anchoring is David Treleaven's modification of the classical body-mindfulness practice, written for people who find that turning attention inward makes things harder rather than easier. External anchors, sounds, the soles of the feet, hand-to-hand contact, hold the practitioner in the present without asking them to look inside.
What this practice is
Treleaven's 2018 book changed how I teach. The premise is unflashy and uncomfortable: meditation can make trauma worse, and most teachers were never trained to notice. When grief carries trauma, as it often does in sudden loss, violent loss, or loss by suicide, the standard interior-focus practices can retraumatize. The external anchors are not a lesser practice. They are the right practice for the state.
Classical Source
Rooted in the body-mindfulness foundation of the Satipatthana Sutta (Majjhima Nikāya 10), but modified explicitly for traumatic-loss states where interior-focus retraumatizes
Modern Source
David Treleaven, Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness (2018), ch. 6, the canonical modern text on when meditation makes trauma worse; Stephen Porges, The Polyvagal Theory (2011)
Duration
5 to 15 minutes
Difficulty
beginner
When to use it
The texts agree that the practice is matched to the state, the season of grief, the subject of the loss. This page names where the practice fits.
Stages of grief this practice serves
Losses this practice serves best
How to practice
The instructions below run 5 to 15 minutes. Read through all the steps before you begin. If at any point the practice is making things worse, stop. The practice is not the goal; you are.
Sit or stand upright. Eyes open. Soft gaze on a fixed point in the room, a corner, a window frame, a candle.
Notice three sounds. Not three meanings. Three sounds. The hum of a refrigerator. Wind. The settling of the room.
Notice the soles of the feet on the floor, pressure, temperature, contact. If shoes obscure this, take them off, or notice the weight of the heel against the back of the shoe.
Bring one hand to the other. Notice the pressure where they meet. This is the anchor. Stay with it.
If a wave of grief arrives, do not chase it inward. Stay with the hands. The hands are the only ground required.
Close by noticing the room you are in. Name three objects aloud or inwardly. You are here. You are here. You are here.
What to notice
The breath is the only thing that lives in the present, and the texts agree that pairing the practice with a matched breath deepens it. For this practice the signature breath is:
Notice the breath without trying to change it. Its pace, its depth, the small pause where it turns around. Whatever it is doing is information, not a problem to solve. Sit with that.
When NOT to do this practice
Crystal companion
In Crystal Cassandra's work, certain stones are the somatic companion to certain practices. The pairing is not magical; it is a steady weight in the palm that becomes part of the noticing.
Hematite
Hematite is the modern Western canon's grounding stone, its iron weight and mirror-finish surface carry the symbolic resonance of being held to the present moment. The classical pairing for anchoring practice is to hold it in the non-dominant hand; the cool weight is the same kind of external anchor the practice itself is built around.
Related practices
These practices complement Trauma-Sensitive Body Anchoring, they are the practices the texts agree often follow or precede this one in the arc of grief work.
Practices for Carrying Grief
Four practices described plainly, a note on anniversaries and dates, and an honest section on when to reach for a person instead of a practice. Nothing is sold in this guide.
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