If the practice makes things worse, stop. The practice is one limb of a two-limb plan when the state is clinical. If suicidal thoughts are present, contact 988 (US) or your local crisis line today.
Quick Answer
The Dichotomy of Control is the foundational Stoic journaling practice, two columns sorting what is and is not in your control. Drawn from Epictetus's Enchiridion chapter 1 and Marcus Aurelius's Meditations 8.7, the practice slows the throw long enough to choose. The work is staying with what is yours.
Tradition and source
Tradition
Stoic
Classical source
Epictetus, Enchiridion ch. 1; Discourses 1.1, 2.5; Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.7
Modern source
Massimo Pigliucci, How to Be a Stoic (2017), ch. 3
What this practice does
Epictetus opens the Enchiridion with this, "some things are up to us and some are not." It is the most-quoted passage in Stoic practice for good reason. The modern cognitive-behavioural therapy distinction between primary and secondary appraisal is the same teaching by a different name. Use this when the Wildfire wants to throw itself; the columns slow the throw long enough to choose.
“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, whatever are not our own actions.”
How to practice
The instructions below run 10 to 20 minutes. Read through all the steps before you begin. The practice is not the goal; you are.
Write down the situation in one sentence.
Make two columns: IN MY CONTROL / NOT IN MY CONTROL.
Sort each element of the situation into one column or the other.
Spend the rest of the session on the IN-MY-CONTROL column only.
Close by noticing what energy you can stop leaking into the other column.
What to notice, and when to stop
Best for which inner weather
According to Aria's comparative-traditions framework, this practice is the matched prescription for the following inner weathers. Tap any to read the full weather prescription.
Take the 12-question Inner Weather Reading → to find your dominant weather today.
Difficulty and duration
Duration
10 to 20 minutes
Difficulty
beginner
Category
Journaling Practices
Crystal companion
In Crystal Cassandra's work, certain stones are the somatic companion to certain practices. The pairing is not magical; it is a steady weight in the palm that becomes part of the noticing.
Rose Quartz
Rose Quartz is the stone most associated with mettā-style practice in the modern Western crystal canon. Many practitioners simply hold it through the difficult-person phase, which gives the hand somewhere to be and keeps the practice a felt thing rather than an argument you are conducting with yourself about someone.
Related practices
These practices complement The Dichotomy of Control, same category, or matched to overlapping inner weathers.
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